Values As A 17-year old

“Your core values are the deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul” — John C. Maxwell

Think about your 17 year old self. What would you say to that person? Would you comfort them with the telling of the future or leave them in suspense and wondering what they came to achieve? Did you have the same values when you were 17 as you do now? When I turned 17, my values were small and unimportant. I’m almost 18 now, and my values are what lead me to my decisions, both big and small. For some, values don’t come into light until your in your early 20’s or late 30’s. Perhaps even younger or older than that. As we go on in life we find ourselves in situtations where outcomes offer us values to should carry on your back. For example, the unexpected death of a loved on can alter your state of mind, and have them leaving you with the value of how short life is when your not careful or cautious or simply just surviving instead of living. You may learn to live for freely with deeper ambitions and create more opportunities for yourself. Unfortunately, when life gives us hardships and offers us values to carry, we leave it behind and let it gather dust, this is when one can feel years of anger, pain and frustration; you didn’t see the value of those difficult times, you just found the way out.

So, what are my values? Here they are:

• Family

When you grow up in a moderate to severe dysfunctional family, you tend not to value them until the very end, where everyone is already traumatized and in pain from the lack of communication. I didn’t learn to value my family until 2020. I was in the most pain and I saw others, my mother, in a more deep rooted pain. Despite her harsh words of damaging criticism and the unbearable yelling, she moved through the rainy muddy shit pile of her life until the end where the sun kept her warm. She’s the soldier of my family. It’s hard to suffer in the worst times of your life, but it’s hard to see someone you love suffer, even if sometimes your the one that causes the suffering.

• Education

This came to me as a surprise. But a good surprise at least. Through my difficult trials and tribulations I got through to the one thing many young adults struggle with; education. It kept me distracted and distractions were what I needed to keep going. I learned to be more organized, ask for help, help others who were confused or struggling. I went from a 1.57 GPA to a 3.0 and still climbing. I don’t want to lose that grip of working hard and I still haven’t lost it. I love what I learn even though at times I sit with confusion. It’s one of my best achievements

• Loyalty

I’ve seen betrayal in my life as do we all. But it starts out so small that you don’t even notice it until you go through the repercussions in the end. I’m the kind of person that’s straightforward and honest and I wasn’t born with that, I learned to speak up for others because I was sick of being afraid, that’s where loyalty ties in to honesty. To watch someone you trust walk away from you while their knife stabbed you in the back is something most of us have a hard time moving on from, and we learn to distrust others in the process further hurting more people. I value loyalty because it brings out the true colors of someone and what they feel about you.

• Love

I feel as though many people think love is risky and scary. It’s not just about love itself, it’s about the person who expresses it. Many people express love in all types of ways both bad and good. I value love because I can be a very affectionate person, caring and romantic but many are not like this. Some can be emotionally unavailable and that makes loving harder because there are no emotions to react to. Some can be manipulative and use their love as tactical skills to hurt someone rather than to express it with care and fragility. I learned through watching failed marriages and toxic relationships that love shouldn’t be this complicated, so love someone the way you know is good rather then the way someone taught you.

• Growth

Humans grow like flowers, slowly with care from the ground up. But sometimes we’re not taken care of, we’re not given enough attention or help, we’re not being responsible, we go back to our old ways and slowly we wither away with the wind carrying us. Although we can always try again. With growth comes patience and that’s something I think many people struggle with. When a period of growth occurs it’s important to surround yourself with the people who support you. This value is one I observe a lot about myself and others. I value this because growth helps us move on from the past and stay in touch with the present. Growth helps us accomplish goals and fuel positivity as well. I might not be growing right now or at all for a long time but I have in the past and it’s only brought good things.

These are the values I hold as a 17 year old, I have no doubt life will offer more for me to value. Values are what molds us into both bad and good people. These are the ingredients that bring us life altering events, the events where they are engraved into your memory forever. Our values come and go through how much effort we put into them and how much strength it takes to keep or lose them.